BEGINNINGS & ENDINGS OF MARRIAGE
COHABITATION & DIVORCE – LECTURE OUTLINE
INTRODUCTION
Beginning and Ending Marriage – Pastoral Reality: A Case Study
COHABITATION
Definition, Facts & Figures
See Lecture One
Why Co-habit ? Some Reasons and Responses
(1) Social norm
(2) Practical
(3) Personal history
(4) Different expectations
(5) Privatisation
(6) Contraception
(7) Trial marriage
Cohabitation, Sex and Marriage
House of Bishops Teaching –
"There is a great deal in our culture which discourages us from making binding and public promises. That is undoubtedly a difficult thing to do, and requires courage. But the promises are an important part of entering marriage. If love is to grow, it needs an explicit commitment of the couple to stay with each other through changing circumstances, through personal development and growth, and through the process of growing older and approaching death. Making promises "before God and in the face of this congregation" declares our conscious willingness to view love not merely as a comfort, but as a lifelong responsibility…
The growth of a relationship towards marriage is often, and very understandably, surrounded by hesitation and anxiety. The social and emotional steps by which couples come to enter marriage are often complicated, and some finally think about lifelong commitment only when they are already living together. This route of approaching marriage is exposed to uncertainties and tensions and is not to be recommended. But it was not uncommon in earlier periods of history, and the important thing is simply that the point of commitment should be reached"
(Marriage, pp10-11).
"The relationships of couples who live together without being married of many different kinds….It may be that you have resolved the question of your future between yourselves already, that you are quite certain of your lasting commitment to each other, and are living naturally together among your friends as husband and wife. Even so, the Church would encourage you to make the public stand that is implied in your way of life, expressing your promises to one another and praying together, as others pray with you, for God's assistance…"
(Marriage, pp21,22).
DIVORCE – BIBLICAL MATERIAL & ETHICAL REFLECTION
"The disaster of a broken marriage is not simply the result of chance or accident. Promises have been broken in attitudes the partners have taken and in ways they have treated each other. Marriage breakdown is the fruit of lovelessness and carelessness, but not only of the partners; others share the responsibility for it. Contemporary society imposes heavy pressures on marriage...Everything that contributes to the breakdown of a marriage offends against God's love…But it is unwise, and may also be uncharitable, for those outside the marriage to attempt to say precisely where the fault lies in any case" ( Marriage, p15).
Old Testament Texts & Teaching
1. Deut 24
Divorce permitted – limits and protection
Divorce entails right to remarry
Grounds for divorce not clear
Reason for no remarriage ? – "wife-swapping"; "indecent"; adultery; incest
2. Ex 21
3. Mal 2.16
3. Jer 3.8
4. Ezra 10.3
New Testament Background
Jesus in the Gospels - Mt 19 & Mk 10
1. Fuller rationale from Genesis
2. Hardness of heart
3. Inclusion of remarriage as well as divorce
Concluding options: Jesus –
(a) Gave no sanction to divorce and saw all marriage after divorce as adultery.
(b) Permitted divorce for porneia but no remarriage
(c) Condemned lax attitude to divorce but allowed both divorce and remarriage in certain situations.
Pauline Epistles
Summary of Paul
(1) Life-long nature of marriage bond (Rom 7.2; 1 Cor 7.39)
(2) Christians should not initiate divorce (1 Cor 7.10-13)
(3) If unbeliever seeks divorce, Christian spouse need not oppose it (1 Cor 7.15)
Divorce – Ever an option ? Always a sin ?
Bishops Teaching Document -
What does the Church have to say to someone whose marriage has broken down ?
"The Church will do whatever it can to help you to put past failures behind you, and to claim the free forgiveness that Christ has won for all our sins, small and great. Freedom of conscience and a joyful confidence, which is neither afraid of the past nor haunted by it, is the Church's prayer for you" (Marriage, p23).
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